


Well at Least it's not a Prank

by ladyroxanne21



Series: Growing Up Potter [20]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dangerous Maze Test, Discussing the war and Voldemort, Draco being and arse, Hermione being a bit of a bitch, James thinks Harry is such a dad, M/M, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-21 02:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18135908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: First Harry conducts a special end of year exam, and then the kids use their summer hols to cast an interesting spell.





	Well at Least it's not a Prank

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this part took so long, I've been busy with Oi, lol ^_^

 

“The rules are simple,” Harry stated as he stared out over the entire Fourth and Sixth Years. It just so happened that the majority of his kids were part of the crowd, the only ones NOT part of it were Teddy (who was a Seventh Year), Daisy (a Fifth Year), Destin (Harry's son with Susan, a Third Year) and Pansy and Hermione's girls (both Second Years).

Taking a breath, Harry continued. “You will be going into the Maze, which has been designed so that each house will start at a different corner, and ALL of you will have an equal chance of making it to the center of the Maze. You'll encounter all sorts of obstacles; some of which are magical creatures, some of which are puzzles or riddles, and some of which are challenges you won't realize are challenges unless you solve them.”

He smiled at the students listening to him. “Once you have reached the center of the Maze, there is a flag. I placed it there myself and have tested it rigorously for tampering. It's behind a lot of wards that are designed to let in ONLY authorized students – meaning that no one can get to it to tamper with it now that it's in the Maze. Thus, when you reach it – the first team to do so will grab it and attempt to get it to me as soon as possible.

“Here's where the second half of the challenge comes in. The OTHER teams will be able to chase after and try to STEAL the flag from the first team. IF they have made it to the center of the Maze before the team gets the flag out. During the chase, any and all spells that you have learned in any of your classes – so long as they DON'T permanently or excessively harm your fellow students – are allowed.”

Harry stared them all down seriously for a long moment. “I am well aware that as your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I have taught you all a LOT of unpleasant spells. For example, I've taught you what the Unforgivable Killing Curse is. Just because I've taught you what it is, DOESN'T mean that it's acceptable to use it in this exam. Don't even joke about it!”

With a sigh to exhale any negative emotions, Harry continued. “Since the majority of the other Professors are currently occupied giving their Final Exams, I've recruited a lot of your parents to help me monitor the Maze. That means that EVERYTHING will be watched and recorded. I strongly advise you to NOT do ANYTHING that your parents will punish you for – so, for example, DON'T punch or fight each other, and probably best not to try to sneak in a quick shag either.”

“DAD!!!” His kids wailed in mortification.

“Well he's got a valid point!” A few of the other kids' parents called out from where they were standing off to the side.

Harry chuckled as he finished up the explanation. “We're going to do this in two distinct stages. The first stage will be the Fourth Years. They'll be able to work their way through the Maze at their own pace, and once a team has successfully brought me the flag, a few things will be added to bring the Challenge up the the Sixth Years level, not to mention, the Flag will be reexamined for tampering and placed back in the center of the Maze. Any questions?”

Since Harry had actually explained the rules a few times during class, none of the students had anything to ask. However, one of the parents was rather confused about something.

“Er, Professor Potter?”

“Yeah, erm, Mr...?” Harry responded awkwardly.

“Minch – I'm a muggle but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see my son in action.”

“Right,” Harry murmured. “What's your question?”

“Just, _why_ exactly do you keep stressing that you've checked, warded, and plan to recheck the flag for tampering?” Mr. Minch asked in confusion.

“Right, erm, well, see, when I was 14, there was a thing called the Triwizard Tournament, and – done right – it was supposed to be a friendly competition between the Wizarding Schools. I personally think they should bring it back, but sadly, the one I participated in was rigged. It was tampered with so that once I entered the Maze, my opponents were incapacitated. I was after a cup – rather than a flag – and when I reached it, I learned that it was spelled to transport me to someplace else altogether where a madman was waiting to kill me. Let's just say that I'm quite keen to ensure that THAT doesn't happen. It's not likely as that madman is dead, but I've still taken EVERY precaution so that it's not even a remote possibility. I take the safety of my students seriously.”

“Er... right...” Mr. Minch murmured in mild disbelief, suddenly wondering if it was entirely wise to let his son participate in this strange test.

“Alright, if there are no more questions, then the last thing I want to say is that should anyone need help or medical attention at ANY time, they can throw up red sparks and the nearest parent will come to their aid – BUT that also takes that particular student out of the game. The point of this exam is for the entire House to work together, and so if at all possible, the members of each House should do their best to solve all problems and help out their Mates.”

The students murmured in general understanding.

“Alright, ready? Good!” Harry exclaimed as they nodded somewhat apprehensively. “Then head off to the designated starting point for your House!”

The Hufflepuffs made their way to the north side of the Maze while the Ravenclaws headed to the east side. The Gryffindors trekked south, which left the Slytherins marching to the west. The Sixth Years cheered on their Fourth Year Housemates from the stands of the Quidditch Stadium – which was where the Maze had been constructed. Parents were given the choice between literally walking on top of the walls or flying around on brooms, and they'd divided fairly evenly in half between the two. Once everyone was in place, Harry shot off an impressive dragon firework provided by Ron and George.

Anaya, Vihaan, and Hunter (Parkinson-Malfoy) were the only Potter kids in Fourth Year, and so, they felt a bit like they were on their own when it came to relying on their siblings. That said, Anaya and Vihaan were both Hufflepuffs, and so, managed to invoke the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor qualities of their mothers (and father), and take charge of their house. Under their command, Hufflepuff did surprisingly well and made it to the center of the Maze fairly quickly.

Honestly, that was not so surprising since Hufflepuffs were excellent finders. The problem came about when Hunter and the Ravenclaws made it to the center of the Maze, realized that the flag wasn't there, and did their absolute best to steal it from Hufflepuff. The other two Houses weren't far behind.

It actually became something of a fierce battle, but since no one broke any of the rules, Harry and the other parents let it play out to its conclusion. In the end, there was a veritable melee of duels between the students that resulted in a sly Slytherin simply running to the exit and summoning the damn flag from the Gryffindor that had just stuffed it down her shirt. Thus, despite most people feeling that Slytherin had cheated (but technically he hadn't), they won the challenge and earned the points for their House.

Chuckling under his breath because Harry had come to have a genuine appreciation for the sometimes underhanded tactics of Slytherin House, he went about resetting the Maze and adding in the slightly harder things the Sixth Years had learned about in his class. The good news was that the first exam had only lasted a little over two hours, and so, the Sixth Years still had a good five or six hours before Harry was going to call a break in the test for dinner. He advised them all to eat a quick snack and bring something little with them for if they got hungry, but for obvious reasons, a big meal right before the exam was a bad idea. Plus, it would waste a lot of time and was best saved for after the exam was over.

Once ready, Harry ordered the Sixth Years to get to their starting points, and then shot off another gorgeous firework.

“Oh good!” Draco exclaimed in relief. “I managed to get my First through Third Years through their exams in time to watch this!”

Harry kissed his husband, holding his hand now that they were together. “Hunter did pretty well in the first exam. I'm probably going to give him an E.

“ONLY an E?” Draco asked with a frown of disapproval.

“Well, he DID make a few minor mistakes that prevent me from giving him an O,” Harry pointed out. “And I can't favor him just because he's one of our kids.”

“Hmph!” Draco harrumphed, but then focused on the Maze. This part was rather slow going with all of the students doing their best to find the center. Being a Maze, it wasn't always obvious if they were going in the right direction, and often, they ended up wasting time going in the wrong direction and solving challenges they wouldn't have to if they were going in the RIGHT direction.

This was the part that was harder than it had been for the Fourth Years as Harry had added a lot more challenges in the wrong directions for the Sixth Years, whereas for the Fourth Years, if there were four possible directions, two would be empty, one would be the right one with a challenge, and one would be the wrong one with a challenge. NOW, ALL directions had a challenge whether they were the right direction or not.

Harry was perversely enjoying watching his students struggle along from his vantage point of a floating tower above the center of the Maze.

“Oh! Looks like Indira miscast that particular spell,” Harry lamented. “I'll have to dock a point from her overall score.”

“Score?” Draco asked curiously.

“Yeah, it's how I'm grading them. They get points for everything they do correctly – including working together – and docked points for anything they do wrong. After everything is done and I have a chance to tally up all their points, I'm basing their grades on their scores,” Harry explained.

“That's... surprisingly logical,” Draco murmured, rather impressed. “And here I thought that you were using this as your final exam so that you had an excuse to give them all Os if they made it out of the Maze alive.”

Harry laughed and gave his husband a kiss. “Oh no! That's the bare minimum requirement to PASS the test. They have to do a hell of a lot more to impress me to get an E or an O.”

“You know, maybe I should ask Minerva if I can make my students brew a variety of potions, and then mix them up and hand them out for them to identify, and then have them drink the potions to see if they were right.”

“I thought that was something you're allowed to do anyway,” Harry mused, remembering a couple of occasions when Snape did exactly that for a student or two in particular.

Draco squinted his eyes in thought. “Hmm... I think you might be right. Now I'm going to have to COMPLETELY rethink my final exams from here on out.”

Chuckling, Harry kissed his husband, and then turned to find that Ravenclaw was currently closing in on the center of the Maze. “Good thing I have recording spells on every student – so that I can review them all individually to be certain I don't miss anything they did.”

“Scorpius, Rose, and Lily seem to be bickering over who should actually TAKE the flag,” Draco murmured.

Harry frowned. “I have no idea why, but all of the other students seem to be looking towards our kids to lead them – no matter the House. It's a bit frustrating as it makes me wonder if they think that only our kids have a chance of winning this challenge. Also, it sort of makes me feel like none of the other students are benefiting from this exam.”

Draco shrugged and snorted in amusement. “Even I'VE heard you telling them over and over that they need to work together. It's really their own fault if they lose points for not listening.”

“True,” Harry agreed. Then he gasped in delight. “Look! Albus, Amelia, and Remus are leading the Hufflepuffs into the center! They're proving me right!”

“Right about what?” Draco asked curiously, kissing Harry just because.

“I hoped that they would actually win this challenge because they know how to work together. So far, despite not being the first to make it to the center, they at least seem to be helping each other out so that their entire House is doing better than Gryffindor or Slytherin.”

“I'm nearly embarrassed by how poorly my House seems to be doing at the moment,” Draco murmured, shaking his head.

“Don't give up on them yet,” Harry advised with a grin. “They tend to keep their tricks up their sleeves until the last possible moment.”

“Shouldn't you actually be rooting for Gryffindor?” Draco asked with a raised brow.

“I technically can't root for any of them – being an impartial teacher and all – but aside from hoping that our relatively timid Puffs prove they have what it takes to work together and win, I actually AM hoping that Gryffindor swoops in at the last minute and steals the flag. That said, Slytherin literally did that in the last round, and so, EVERYONE knows to expect something like it,” Harry explained, kissing Draco for no reason other than he wanted to.

“OOO! Slytherin made it to the center of the Maze before Gryffindor!” Draco announced happily.

By this point, most of the other Professors were able to join them. The way Final Exams were spread out during normal years – 5 out of the 7 years had to take their exams during normal class time, as obviously the OWL and NEWT students took theirs separately. But since Harry was monopolizing the entire Fourth and Sixth Years for an entire day (possibly two depending on how things went), the rest of the teachers were only able to test the first three years. Which meant they had a bit of time to come and watch Harry's exam.

“Hmm...” Minerva hummed as she stroked her chin in thought. “You know, this test of yours is really something, Harry. I know you said that they could use any spells learned in any class, but I hadn't really thought that any of the students would use Transfiguration. Except that Ollie Minch just Transfigured one of the hedges into a chair to take a bit of a break on. I'm impressed as I didn't think he was interested in Transfiguring so much as a porcupine into a tea cup.”

Harry laughed. “Well I didn't think it would be a good idea to make the Maze up of nothing but dangerous magical creatures that the students had to defeat, and so the challenges require a little bit of everything.”

“I particularly love how you have them brewing a simple solution to let them through a fiery doorway unharmed,” Draco murmured before kissing Harry.

“There's at least one in which they have to transfigure things into other things to use as keys to unlock the right door,” Harry informed Minerva.

“Hmm... you know, it MIGHT just behoove us all to arrange ALL our final exams into one big one like this,” Minerva mused. “Not only will it hopefully keep the students interested, but – done right – it will actually challenge them to USE their skills. Perhaps if we had them take the test in pairs – that way they don't fail the entire test if they get stuck in one challenge – but ALSO earn points on their individual performances. Yes... I think I like this idea.”

Harry grinned at her. “So much better than boring paper tests, yeah?”

She gave him a very slight smile. “Perhaps.”

“So wait!” Draco blurted out. “Are you saying that future students might be able to skip the mind numbing tests to take an interactive Maze test instead???”

“I do believe that _is_ what I'm saying,” Minerva replied dryly.

“Well that's just not fair!” Draco whinged. “Not ONLY was I always stuck taking Finals on my BIRTHDAY, but I had to take the boring paper ones!”

Minerva smirked at him and then turned her attention back to Harry. “Do you have a plan for if your children abandon their Houses and work together to win?”

Harry roared with laughter. “Actually, yes. I'll disqualify them all!”

Draco frowned. “But wait? Wouldn't that NOT be against the rules?”

Harry shrugged. “Perhaps not technically, but since the ONLY way that situation would work in their favor would be if their entire Year links hands and carries that flag out together, I'll consider anything else as not following the first rule of working together with their Housemates.”

“You really have thought this through,” Minerva stated in surprise.

Harry snorted. “I've actually been planning this out since I first started – maybe even before. So, roughly four years of wondering how it would work and coming up with challenges, not to mention working out the obvious problems I spotted during planning.”

“All without mentioning a thing to me!” Draco exclaimed, honestly impressed. Then he frowned petulantly. “WHY didn't you mention it to me? I could have helped!”

Harry kissed him. “I wanted to try it on my own for the first time at the very least. If I do this again next year, I'd LOVE for everyone to give me their thoughts on what worked and what didn't.”

Minerva flinched. “Oh! Well, that bat-bogey hex certainly worked! Poor Miss Fletcher...”

Draco paled and looked away, having sudden perfect recall of receiving that hex in the distant past. Harry pulled him close and rubbed his back, but didn't say anything.

When everything was said and done, the massive battle that ensued as the Sixth Year students closed in on the exit to the Maze got rather heated, and not exactly, erm... sporting. The flag changed hands so often that it was difficult to keep track of which House was winning. Even the students had trouble keeping track as often a student would accidentally steal it from one of their own Housemates.

JUST when it looked like another Slytherin was setting herself up to be right in the exit to summon the flag and win the challenge, Sai shouted out a summoning spell for his broom, jumped on it as it arrived, flew after the flag, grabbed it, cast an anti-summoning spell on it, and flew it out of the Maze.

Harry was impressed even as he was dismayed that – once again – the flag was brought to him via a determined student working alone – as opposed to as a team. That said, the rest of the Gryffindors HAD tackled as many other students as they could so that none of them could intercept or impede Sai. So... mission accomplished?

With a small smile, Harry awarded Gryffindor the promised points for winning the challenge. Now all he had to do was review all the footage and determine each student's score – and thus, grade.

 

***

 

“It's probably not going to work anyway,” Rose muttered a little petulantly.

“Then what's the problem?” James wondered.

“The PROBLEM is if it DOES work!” Rose cried out in frustration. “We'll be in SO MUCH trouble!”

“I don't see why,” Indira stated. “It's not against any laws that I can find – except for the very general and not very enforced at all law that minors are not to do magic outside of school.” 

“Which most of us are of age,” Hugo pointed out.

“And the only thing we promised our dads was to NOT pull any more pranks – and this ISN'T a prank,” Albus said.

Rose sighed and rubbed her temples, feeling that it didn't matter what she thought since she was clearly in the minority and would lose a vote anyway. “Fine... If we're going to do this, then let's do this.”

“Alright then,” James stated gleefully. “Everyone gather around in a circle.” He waited for all of his brothers and sisters to circle around and join hands. “We call upon the powers of Merlin and Godric Gryffindor.”

“We call upon the powers of Salazar Slytherin,” Pandora invoked next.

“Helga Hufflepuff, hear our plea and join us here,” Amelia intoned reverently.

“Roweena Ravenclaw, in your name, we seek knowledge!” Scorpius finished, which not only completed the first part of the spell, but brought them full circle back to James.

“In the names of Merlin and the Founders of Hogwarts, we hereby cast the spell to temporarily resurrect our ancestors!” James cried out powerfully.

Lily and Pearl stood by to each toss a different potion onto a large pile of spell ingredients, which was meant (among other things) to activate a brief portal. The moment they tossed the potions – the glass bottles shattering the contents over the spell ingredients – a small explosion caused a bright flash that blinded them all for a moment. When they had the ability to look again, a glowing lavender oval floated before them.

They were all too stunned that it had worked to say anything for a long moment, then James cleared his throat. “I call to the spirit of my namesake and grandfather James Potter.”

“I call to the spirit of my namesake and grandmother Lily Evans Potter,” Lily called out.

“I call to the spirit of my namesake –” Remus began.

“And my father, Remus Lupin,” Teddy finished.

“I call to the spirit of a man who isn't technically related to any of us, but feels like a grandfather to all of us – Sirius Black!” Albus and Scorpius yelled, probably a bit louder than necessary.

They ALL finished up the summoning with: “Hear us – oh ancestors – and take form so that you can temporarily visit us!”

They all held their breath as they waited to see if the spell would actually work the way it was intended to. Just when it seemed like they might pass out from the lack of oxygen, a glowing orb emerged from the portal, followed by another. And then another. And finally a last orb before the portal closed.

The orbs shimmered and grew much bigger and fainter for a moment before seeming to melt into actual people. Physically real people who could touch and be touched. Not to mention talk and be asked questions.

James and Lily – the ghosts – looked at each other in confusion before looking at Remus and Sirius. “Anyone know what happened?” Lily asked in the tone of a person used to discovering that pranks had been played.

“Not me!” James the first denied with a shake of his head.

“Wow!” Rose exhaled in awe. “It's really them!”

“And who are you, luv?” Lily the first asked, looking around at the large group of children suspiciously.

“My name is Rose,” she answered, biting her lip in clear indecision.

James (the younger) nudged her with his elbow. “No use in chickening out now. We summoned them to answer questions, and that means answering questions in return.”

“What's going on?” James (the first) asked with a frown of concern. “The last thing I remember..... our spirits were back temporarily to help our son Harry through a very difficult time.”

Amelia gasped in delight. “Ooo! I bet that was when daddy was walking into the Forbidden Forest in order to let Voldemort kill him!”

“Yeah, he always said that he felt a great deal of comfort having his parents and their best friends beside him,” Hugo added.

“I always thought that was just a story,” Anaya murmured. “Sort of like a bedtime morality story – better behave or your dead grandparents will see your bad behavior and come back to scare you.”

James (1 st ) roared with laughter. “I was SO looking forward to doing exactly that! But sadly, shortly after helping Harry, I don't remember anything at all.”

“Me neither, which is weird as I can recall watching over him ever since he was a baby,” Lily (1st) added, biting her lip in puzzlement.

Remus (1 st ) ventured an opinion. “Well... I think that's because that day was the last day that any of our souls were needed. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say, that was the last day we WANTED to remain behind. Our ultimate goal was accomplished and we were permitted, or... AGREED – or were maybe even *required* to move on.”

Sirius was stroking his chin in thought. “That... makes sense. After all, I was stuck in a sort of underworld – or limbo – until that day. But afterwards, I also remember nothing. It's good to see you again, Prongs, Moony.”

“Padfoot!” Both men exclaimed happily and hugged him.

“Yes yes, it's a miracle and we should all be properly in awe, but first, I want to know what happened here?” Lily1 stated in the tone of a stern mother, her arms crossed over her chest.

James2 rubbed the back of his neck and ruffled his hair nervously. “Erm... well, the 19 of us grew up hearing stories of you, and we REALLY wanted to meet you in person.”

“ESPECIALLY since your pranks are still legendary!” Teddy added with a huge grin.

“So we cast a spell to bring you back temporarily, but none of us have any idea for how long,” Indira explained with a friendly smile.

“Where are we?” Prongs asked, looking around in confusion.

“This looks like... my childhood home, but MUCH nicer,” Padfoot murmured, staring at an heirloom clock in the corner of the attic.

“Actually, it is!” Albus informed them cheerfully. “When daddy found out that he was having us – having inherited this place from you when you died – he decided that we'd all move in here and fix the place up. Or well, WE weren't born yet, but that's what they told us.”

“Alright, wait, I'm going to need you to back up and answer the question of who in the bloody hell ARE you???” Prongs blurted out, feeling a bit flustered. He was scrutinizing the kids and finding that most of them looked like him in one way or another.

“Oh, erm...” James was wondering how best to explain it.

“Oh for Merlin's sake!” Rose grumbled. “It'll take AGES to tell you all our names, and the most important part of it anyway is that our dad is your son – Harry Malfoy-Potter.”

“Wait what??? _Say that again_?” Prongs was positively goggling in shock.

Lily1 giggled at the look on her husband's face. “I do believe she said that her father is our son.”

“THAT'S not that part I need her to say again!” James1 cried out.

“She said MALFOY-POTTER!” Padfoot added in solidarity.

This managed to catch her attention this time. “As in LUCIUS MALFOY???”

“Draco Malfoy, actually,” Scorpius answered with a proud smile. “Lucius is our grandfather.”

Albus gestured to his twin brother and Scorpius. “Well, his, James' and mine.”

“By Merlin's scraggly beard!” Pandora exclaimed. “Might as well let me explain it because I can say it without dying of embarrassment!” She leaned casually against Pearl and faced their visitors. “Once upon a time ago, our daddy – your son Harry – had an orgy with all our mums and his now husband Draco. Thus, he's our father. Er, well, aside from Daisy, Teddy, Hunt –”

“Did you say Teddy?!” Moony blurted out in shock, looking around to see if he could figure out which one was his son.

“Hi dad...” Teddy greeted, waving shyly. Moony felt tears stinging his eyes as he hugged his son.

Lily1 looked scandalized. “OUR son has this many children?!?!”

Pearl sighed and shook her head. “This is going to take a while, and we have no idea how long they'll be here for.”

“Name tags!” Daisy blurted out. “Let's all conjure up name tags that explain who our parents are. That way, they'll be able to keep it all straight at a glance.”

“That's brilliant Daze!” Teddy praised her before giving her a quick kiss. Daisy laced her hand through his and rested her head against his shoulder. It was a matter of mere seconds for them all to conjure up tags that stated their names and parents.

“Daisy DURSLEY???” Lily1 asked in utter bafflement.

Daisy nodded and pointed at her dad's name. “Yep, my dad's Dudley, Harry's cousin, making you my Great Aunt.”

“Erm...” Lily1 was at a loss for words.

Prongs laughed. “Is that  _really_ any weirder than finding out our son had a load of kids in one go?!”

“Yes?!” Lily1 blurted out uncertainly.

Before anyone could do anything other than laugh, a stern voice boomed out from nowhere. “KIDS! Where in the bloody hell are you?! It's quiet!”

“TOO quiet!” Draco added. “What sort of trouble are you getting yourselves into?!”

“Come to think of it – KIDS!!!” Hermione's voice called out.

“Let me,” Pearl volunteered, holding up her hand to forestall an argument. She cast a Sonorus on her voice. “Stop panicking daddy! We're just fine and not doing anything wrong!”

“Liar!” Scorpius accused under his breath.

“Hush!” Lily2 ordered as quietly as possible, pushing on her brother to get her point across.

“Well stop whatever you're doing and come eat dinner!” Harry ordered.

Albus hastily cast a Sonorus on himself to add. “That's alright daddy, we already ate!”

“We're completely full!” Sai backed him up.

“KIDS...” Harry ground out threateningly.

“Get here NOW, before I cast a tracking spell and have to come FIND YOU,” Draco ordered and warned threateningly all in one.

The kids all sighed in defeat.

“We're bloody screwed,” Hugo muttered.

“Coming!” Pearl called out before Draco had a chance to come looking for them.

“Maybe we can cast glamour spells on them?” Hunter suggested uncertainly.

“Wouldn't help,” Rose lamented. “If you remember, there are so many wards and protection spells on this house that we couldn't sneak a boyfriend in if we transfigured him into a stick and stuck him in our back pocket.”

Prongs snorted in amusement. “HAVE you tried that?”

Rose looked away while Pearl sighed unhappily. “ _Yes_ ...”

“Well, come on then,” Vihaan invited impatiently. 

Despite their lies, they were all hungry and didn't have it in them to resist the call to dinner. They trudged from the attic all the way down to the dining room. As they got closer, they could hear their parents chatting away.

Scorpius stopped at the last moment, preventing them all from going any further, since he was in the lead. “What if dad murders us???”

Pearl scoffed. “My mum wouldn't let him murder me, so I'm safe.”

Anaya put a hand on his arm to comfort him. “I don't think daddy will really be mad, so he'll stop dad from murdering us.” When they weren't in school, they often called Draco dad, even though he technically wasn't for most of them. Being married to Harry made him sort of their dad, and so they considered him that when he wasn't terrorizing them as their potions professor.

“I hope,” Scorpius muttered with a heavy sigh.

“KIDS!!!” Harry boomed out again.

Indira pushed Scorpius through the door so that she could follow him. “It was James' fault!”

“Oh thanks, Indy!” James2 grumbled at her.

“ _What_ was James' fault?” Harry asked suspiciously.

“It was his idea to invite our grandparents here,” Scorpius explained.

“Mum and dad are here?” Draco asked in surprise, looking around to try and spot them.

“No erm...” James2 faltered and rubbed the back of his neck.

“James Malfoy-Potter, _what did you do?_ ” Harry demanded sternly.

Lily2 decided to try to help her brother out. She jogged over to Harry and gave him her poutiest eyes. “ _Daddy_ , James didn't do anything  _wrong_ . He just wanted to talk to our grandparents. That's not bad at all, is it?”

“Then why are you all acting guilty?” Harry wondered, still suspicious. After all, these were all (mostly) 17 year olds acting as if they were still 12.

“Oi!” James2 protested. “It's NOT like I did it all on my own!!! We ALL cast the spell!”

“WHAT SPELL?!?!” Harry demanded, now standing and staring them down sternly.

“Wow! SUCH a dad!” Prongs exclaimed, and it was clear by his tone that he didn't particularly mean it as a compliment.

“Who're – er...” Harry faltered, turning his head side to side as he stared at the very familiar looking young man. He then spotted a young woman and – “Sirius!” Harry called out gleefully and ran to throw his arms around the nearly same age as him man. He then found himself on the verge of tears as Remus1 patted him on the back. “But! But! You're both DEAD!!!”

“Still are, unfortunately,” Sirius assured him irreverently. “And that's your dad and mum, in case you don't recognize them.

“What??? HOW?!” Harry roared in astonishment.

“That's the spell we cast,” Sai whispered as if imparting a secret, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear him.

Harry's eyes went wide in shock and he immediately looked at Hermione. “Mione?”

Hermione was clearly already thinking this over. “The best I can guess is that our kids cast a spell to temporarily resurrect a few spirits. It HAS to be temporary as NOTHING can bring back the dead.”

Harry nodded in acceptance. “I know that better than anyone.” He then narrowed his eyes, suspicious all over again. “You didn't steal your dad's illegal time turner and go snatch them from right before they died, DID you?”

“I HAVE NO SUCH THING!” Draco denied indignantly.

Harry gave him a look that was just short of rolling his eyes. “Draco, we share an underwear drawer, remember? I bloody well KNOW you've got an illegal time turner.”

Draco flung his hand out to indicate Hermione. “I absolutely DO NOT have any such illegal things in the same house as the future MINISTER FOR MAGIC!”

“Then did you get rid of it?” Hermione asked curiously.

“YES! Er, I mean I never had it to begin with!”

Hermione laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “If you say so.”

“WAIT! Dad had a time turner and we didn't know about it???” James2 blurted out with interest. He gave an incredulous look to Teddy, who looked at Daisy, who looked at Hugo. “We could have gotten away with SO MUCH MORE!!!”

“Right?!” Pearl asked and agreed at the same time.

Harry glared at them. “Oh you got away with plenty! I'm STILL shocked that Minerva didn't expel the lot of you!”

Draco growled menacingly. “Harry, my heart, I'm bloody starving and if you don't sit back down and start this meal – this instant – I'll–”

Harry spun to face him and crossed his arms over his chest. “You'll WHAT?” He asked in a tone of definite challenge.

“I'll refuse to do that thing you asked for tonight,” Draco finished his utterly serious threat.

“Right! Kids, sit, now!” Harry ordered as he rushed back to Draco's side.

“DAD,” Scorpius whinged in disgust. “How many times have we BEGGED you not to say shite like that in front of us?!”

“Oi! LANGUAGE! 10 points from Ravenclaw – wait, _FUCK..._ ” Draco groaned as he realized that they weren't in school for the summer. Everyone roared with laughter, thoroughly enjoying the fact that Draco was flustered. “Fine, I'll just have to punish you like a regular parent. Hmm... I think scrubbing all the toilets should do it.”

“But dad! I'm OF AGE!” Scorpius protested.

“What's that? You want to scrub all the toilets with YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?” Draco asked darkly.

“Stop now, idiot, before he has you scrub the entire HOUSE with your toothbrush!” Albus advised him.

Scorpius hastily waved his hands back and forth. “No no! That's alright! I'll be, erm  _happy_ to scrub all the toilets without complaints and WITHOUT my toothbrush.”

“Hrmph! Keep this in mind because the NEXT time I catch you using inappropriate language, I'll be scrubbing your mouth out with your toothbrush AFTER I use it to scrub a nice and dirty toilet!” Draco warned him.

“Yes dad!” Scorpius blurted out before he could get himself in any more trouble.

Harry was laughing and shaking his head at Draco. “You're terrible!”

“But am I wrong?” Draco asked with a _look_.

“Not at all!” Harry assured him before giving him an adoring kiss.

“So, it sounds like it wasn't the time turner,” Hermione stated as if she was continuing a conversation for a mere second ago. “Rose, which spell did you lot use?”

“Oh it was fascinating, mum! And FOR THE RECORD, ***I*** was the only one who was against doing it,” Rose informed her.

Lily2 took over the explanation. “It was a spell we found in a book rumored to be written by Merlin himself.”

“It was in the restricted section, but of course, we have permanent permission on file with Madam Pince to access the restricted section as much as we want,” Scorpius reminded her.

“You do?” Harry asked in surprise. “WHY didn't I know this? It seems like it should be something I'd need to sign off on.”

Scorpius pointed to Teddy. “The Head Boy always has permission to access, well, MOST of the restricted section.” Then he tapped on his chest before pointing at Rose. “And as the Ravenclaw Prefects, Flitwick always gives us permanent permission to access the restricted section so that we can learn as much as we want.”

“That rat bastard!” Draco burst out in dismay. “NO WONDER Ravenclaw always has such a big advantage over Slytherin! I'm going to have to start giving MY Prefects permanent permission.”

“Is that really wise?” Harry wondered with a frown. “You have NO IDEA what sorts of things we learned from books in the restricted section.”

Ron snorted in amusement. “You mean HERMIONE learnt! The two of us were as lost as ever and she basically did all of the work herself.”

“Well there is that,” Harry admitted.

“I'm quite torn,” Hermione said, biting her lip. “On the one hand, I usually support kids learning anything they want, but on the OTHER HAND, I know what OUR KIDS can do with even the slightest bit of knowledge and am not certain it's a good idea to give them more.”

Remus2 and Amelia were now very overtly trying to hide their faces with a hand along the side, and also shaking from silent laughter. Harry  _peered_ at them intently. 

“What up with you two? Amelia? Remus?”

Amelia bit her lip and looked to the floor while Remus2 tried to look at the ceiling and pretend that he hadn't heard anything.

“ _REMUS_...”

Remus looked at his dad and scratched an itch on his cheek. “Erm, well...” He pointed back and forth between his sister and himself. “As Hufflepuff Prefects, we ALSO have permanent permission on file to access the restricted section as much as we want.”

Draco stood up and slammed a hand on the table. “You mean to say that Slytherin is the ONLY House that doesn't give its Prefects such a big tactical advantage!”

“Gryffindor doesn't either,” Harry pointed out.

Draco flapped a hand at him dismissively. “Gryffindor is the only House in the School that cares more about breaking rules than learning things.”

“OI!” Hermione roared indignantly. “I'll remind that ***I*** had better grades than even YOU and would have been Head Girl if I hadn't had to drop out of school and go on the run with Harry to survive and defeat VOLDEMORT!”

“My point exactly!” Draco yelled right back at her. “You were in Gryffindor, and so, felt that winning a war was more important than your studies!”

“FUCK YOU! Winning a war WAS more important than going to school, and YOU are DAMN LUCKY that I was by Harry's side every step of the way, or else he would have DIED and YOU wouldn't be married to him, you bloody prick!” Hermione told him off.

“I never denied any of that! All I'm saying is that ***I*** stayed in school, was HEAD BOY, and STILL managed to survive the war until Harry came back and finally sent the buggering Dark Lord to his grave! Thus proving my point that only GRYFFINDORS care about OTHER THINGS more than they care about their studies!”

Harry burst out laughing. “Oh! Looks like we've reached the shouting portion of dinner!” He tugged on Draco's hand and pulled him into his lap. “Behave you,” he commanded with a kiss.

“Never!” Draco vowed defiantly.

“Behave or ***I*** won't do that thing you asked for tonight,” Harry threatened.

Draco promptly pressed his lips together, picked up his wine glass and took a sip from it, and then looked at Scorpius (ignoring the fact that he was still in Harry's lap). “As you were saying?”

“Wait!” Ron cried out in interruption, leaning over to get a better look at Harry. “This is twice now that the two of you mentioned a thing that apparently gives proper incentive to stop arguing and basically agree to anything. I'm dying to know what this THING is!”

Harry snickered merrily even as Draco grinned knowingly.

“Well, I suppose the kids ARE all old enough to hear me describe it,” Draco mused.

“NONONONONONONO!!!!!” The kids all roared in horror. “We don't need to know! We REALLY don't need to know!”

“Are you sure, because it's quite an inventive little trick,” Draco informed them. “Could come in handy.”

“Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!” The kids repeated until they were relatively certain Draco wasn't going to just tell them anyway.

“Ah, well, your loss,” Draco stated with a shrug.

Pansy yawned before taking a sip of her wine. “Alright, so, we've gotten to the inevitable argument during dinner AND the reminiscing about the Dark Lord, and now we've reached the inappropriate sex chat portion of dinner. Does this mean that I can brag about my night, or can we finally get back to what the bloody hell is going on?”

“I vote we brag about our night,” Ron said, kissing her.

Hermione shook her head. “NO, because I don't really want our kids to know all the kinky details of our night.”

“Are you certain?” Pansy asked with a smug grin. “Because they were REALLY kinky!”

Hermione laughed and gave her a kiss. “Behave, or I won't do that thing they're talking about to you.”

“Oh wait, THAT thing?” Ron asked with a grin. “Excellent! I'll be as good as a prize winning Jack Russel Terrier in a dog show.”

“Ooo,” Luna purred happily. “It sounds like we're ALL going to be doing that thing tonight.” Her husband Rolf blushed, STILL not used to this sort of talk, despite being married to her for several years.

All of the adults were laughing now, especially Padfoot, who lightly backhanded Prongs across the chest. “MERLIN! Not even WE managed to slip so much innuendo into a single conversation!”

“I'm surrounded by bloody teenagers,” Lily1 laughed even as she shook her head.

“Well you are,” Sai stated, gesturing around at all of his siblings.

After everyone laughed for a bit, James put a hand on Harry's shoulder. “So, son, aside from marrying a pretty blond arsehole and having a LOT of kids, what have you been up to?”

Draco bristled until Harry ran a hand down his spine and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Hmm... I think this conversation would best be conducted outside. Ladies, what do you think? Bonfire?”

“Definitely!” Ginny agreed with a grin. The others agreed with cheers, rushing to clear the table and bring their wine with them.

The entire family migrated out to their backyard and waited for Neville to finish gathering up and arranging some brush and trimmings left over from his spring pruning efforts. Soon, there was a nice blaze going and everyone couldn't help but relax just by looking at it.

Harry gave an in depth overview of his life and answered questions, even as his parents and their best friends also answered questions. Harry and his kids asked all sorts of things. Such as: “How did you survive Azkaban?” “Did you KNOW you were going to die in the Final Battle?” “What's the afterlife like?”

At one point, James2 got his grandfather alone and asked his most pressing question: “How in the bloody hell did you Marauders pull off the Portkey Prank of '76???”

Laughing, and promising not to tattle on James2 to Draco for swearing, Prongs, Padfoot, and Moony answered that question with every detail. Teddy and a couple of the others were ALSO listening in intently, all of them lamenting the fact that they had promised not to pull any more pranks.

As the deep star-studded black of night faded toward morning, their spirit visitors also faded. But by the time they were gone for good, they had hugged and said everything they needed to say to Harry and his kids. All in all, it was one of the best nights of Harry's life, and he went to bed feeling utterly at peace with the world.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The last 4 or 5 paragraphs originally got erased when my computer effed up, so there were one or two tiny details that got omitted from this final version. SO if you can think of any questions or details that are missing, feel free to ask because chances are, that was what got omitted, lol ^_^


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